What you won't see here.

As TML begins to grow (our readership is up to around 3 now!), I've decided to declare some words and phrases off limits within the confines of this blog.

"bandwidth" - T1 lines have bandwidth, people don't. The next person that says something like "I don't know if I have the bandwidth to handle that project" will be featured in my next new blog feature: People Who's Phone I Secretly Dipped in a McCann Urinal.

"TGIF" - I love the weekend. I love when it's the end of the work week. And I used to happily say "TGIF" along with everyone else. Then Guy Fieri started doing Friday's commercials, and thinking of him makes me incontinent. I don't know why, but he's irksome. Thus dies "TGIF."

Repeating the last word in an acronym - Oh sweet holy hell how I hate this. If you use an acronym, you don't need to use any of the words from it also. It defeats the purpose. Listen up people, you DID NOT 'go to the ATM machine' on your lunch hour, you went to the ATM. And now it's invading advertising too. Oreo's "Double Stuff Racing League (D.S.R.L.)" campaign is retarded. And I don't just mean that as a generic derogatory term. I mean the campaign may very well have been conceived by kids who eat their belly button lint and have to use safety scissors. (NOTE: Peyton Manning, however, is funny as always.) But in a recent radio commercial, ESPN personality Mike Greenberg actually says you can join "the D.S.R.L. League" for yourself. Hearing this feels like a paper cut on my brain.

These terms are officially banned from The Missing LiNK. A cease and desist has been issued, and violators will be punished. That is all.