ZERO VOTES
Unanimously, the committee couldn't see any resemblance here, and Dave H. was the one who actually says there is one.
FINAL VERDICT: Huge Fail! Although, it's worth noting that Dave H. has only one testicle, so maybe he knows something we don't about Kevin James' kibbles and bits and that's where the similarity exists.
I think this one suffers from age. In high school Jason may have looked more like Ponch. Remember, 20 years ago, Jason had a few less pounds and no glasses, and Estrada had Larry Wilcox' mouth around his junk.
FINAL VERDICT: Dunh duh dun-dun-duh... Sorry, CHiPs theme stuck in head now.
The irony here is that Rob, a Met fan, despises Chipper. And I couldn't agree more. Any man who has a beautiful name like Larry and voluntarily calls himself something like "Chipper" is King of the Douches. Oh, and they don't look that much alike either.
FINAL VERDICT: I can almost see where people might say they see a resemblance, but it was not enough to sway a single vote.
I guess you really have to know Dave to understand why a comparison to Goldberg might be the funniest thing since the invention of the fart, but people have mentioned it more than once, so who knows.
FINAL VERDICT: Not all bald Jews with goatees and sunglasses are created equal.
I suppose we're stretching the definition of celebrity here. There's probably a significantly higher likelihood of someone stopping Short Round on the street and saying "You look like this guy Dave" than the other way around.
FINAL VERDICT: No time for love, Dr. Jones!
This is another comparison that suffers from age. Sue is my sister, and I will admit that 20-year old Sue and 20-year old Valerie Bertinelli did kind of look alike. Not so much these days.
FINAL VERDICT: It's a good thing my sister and Valerie Bertinelli don't have much in common. If she had named my nephew Wolfgang, I would have had to kick her ass.
Short hair and glasses just aren't enough to win over the judges on this one. One similarity does exist though...Melissa plays softball and Lori Petty was in A League of Their Own. So, naturally, they both think Rosie O'Donell is a piece of shit.
FINAL VERDICT: Stop crying. There's no crying in Celebrity Lookalike.
Okay, sure we're both hysterically funny guys with glasses who could lose a few pounds, but the committee still gave this one four "no's."
FINAL VERDICT: I'm pretty happy about this, since I kind of think Patton Oswalt looks like a sweaty lesbian sock puppet.
SLIGHT RESEMBLANCE
Not a lot of support for this one, but one judge did acknowledge a passing resemblance with the following caveat, "but Clive Owen is good looking." And somewhere, a little piece of Eric died that day.
FINAL VERDICT: Cohen may rhyme with Owen, but the similarities end there.
When discussing this one, there wasn't much overall support. But when these two photos were placed side by side, the resemblance was given some acknowledgment.
FINAL VERDICT: Erika Christensen is the post-op sex change identity of Hayden Christensen, who became a woman after killing the Star Wars franchise. It's true, I swear. So Emily is better off distancing herself from it all.
Two judges thought the Piston Honda comparison was a win, two didn't. I liked the symmetry that one Mike T. looks like a boxer from a game named after another Mike T.
FINAL VERDICT: Body blow, body blow, body blow...Put Him Away!
Amazingly, there was little support for the white Minnesota girl looking like the mixed-race Jersey girl. Side note...how did Mariah not get an Oscar nod for "Don't Mess with the Zohan?" She played herself, and playing a retard typically gets you an award.
FINAL VERDICT: If Meghan showed Mariah-esque inappropriate cleavage more often, there may have been more support for this one.
This is where the difference between "resemblance" and "lookalike" becomes clear. I've always thought these two reminded me of each other, but they don't genuinely look that similar. Plus, I think Ellen Pompeo weighs 57 pounds, which is hard to match.
FINAL VERDICT: Seriously? Seriously? (shut up, you watch Grey's Anatomy too).
They call Einstein "scrappy." Scrappy means you're 4' 8" and only marginally talented. Okay, then Greg is "scrappy" too. That alone should have gotten more support, but alas, no dice. (EDITOR'S NOTE: Greg is actually quite talented, so I'll call him plucky instead. And hope he doesn't hate me now.)
FINAL VERDICT: World Series MVP? Yes. Lookalike? No.
It's kind of cool to have a friend who looks like "Bobby Baccala," but I wish he looked more like Vincent Pastori, because you haven't lived until you get to call a good friend "Big Pussy" every single day. Pussy!
FINAL VERDICT: Bobby married Tony's sister Janice, so he's no one you should want to be confused with anyway.
I thought Mike looked like Brad Johnson the very first time I met him. But I guess you have to be a big enough fantasy sports geek like me to even know what Brad Johnson looks like in the first place.
FINAL VERDICT: After the way he fucked the Cowboy's in 2008, Mike is better off looking like someone else.
When I first heard this comparison I thought it was a good one. But after looking at dozens of photos of both people, I found the resemblance was not as obvious.
FINAL VERDICT: Being brunette, Jewish and cute can get you all the way to Hollywood. Or to being an advertising account person. That's some glamorous shit right there.
This is where the experiment went haywire. Apparently, when you Google pictures of Oscar De La Hoya, you get some crazy scary nasty cross-dressing shit of him (or it looks like him) in fishnets. I subsequently clawed my eyes out with a spork and was unable to continue.
FINAL VERDICT: None. Spork. Eyes. Ow.
SUCCESSFUL LOOKALIKES
Craig has been told he looks like Eckersley, Yanni, and Jesus. That's a little sacrilegious. No one should dare use Yanni's name in vain.
FINAL VERDICT: Upon seeing the pictures side by side, Jack Buck was quoted as saying "I don't believe...what I just saw!"
It's pretty impressive when you've been told you look like Lionel Ritchie, John Oates and Lou Ferrigno. Are there three more different people in the world? Still, Ferrigno was the hands down winner.
FINAL VERDICT: Hulk Smash!
Another solid comparison. Ironically, Josh has also shaved his whole body and nailed Barbara Streisand.
FINAL VERDICT: Aces!
I would go into a long explanation of who Josh Groban is and the beauty of his voice, but I'm hetero, so that's out. Anyway, solid lookalike.
VERDICT: The voice of an angel and a face like Tom's. Josh Groban lead's a charmed life.
THE FINALISTS
Matt looks so much like Christopher from the Sopranos, I kind of want to smother him to death. Or at least shoot him in the foot and call him "Spider."
FINAL VERDICT: Bronze Medal.
Hey, did you know that Lenny Kravitz' mom was Helen on the Jeffersons? And Danny is the man who taught me the term "Halfrican American." It's a match made in hair heaven.
FINAL VERDICT: Silver Medal.
AND THE WINNER IS...
After putting together a killer "Ugly Betty" costume this past Halloween, I never would have thought that Kat looked even more like a cartoon character. But I'll be damned if this wasn't the closest match we saw in the whole bunch. Now if you'll excuse me, I think I owe Disney 4 million for using the Lilo image on my site.
FINAL VERDICT: Gold Medal.
That's all for The Missing LiNK Lookalike Experiment. Thanks to everyone who participated. Now stop reading a shitty blog and go outside, it's beautiful out.
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