Understanding Boat Names

Every morning, my train into the city briefly travels across the bay near my house. Many times I'll see small fishing boats looking to reel in the early morning catch. Often, like today, I'll notice that boat owners name their boat after a women, presumably a wife or daughter. I find this curious, seeing as how there are many unflattering connections and connotations that can be drawn. Let's use today's boat, "MY JOANNE," as an example.

"How can I get that fishy smell off of My Joanne."

"I wonder how many sailors can fit in My Joanne?"

"I once crammed 8 rods in the back of My Joanne."

"I hired an expert to plug the hole in My Joanne."

"Before a long day of fishing, I frequently take a shit on My Joanne."

"My Joanne has plenty of gas."

and, of course, "I let three friends come on My Joanne with me last week."

So, seafaring men of the world, I ask you to pause and give thought the next time you name your new boat. That way, when you say "My Joanne went down last night," you can say it happily.